Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Two new mixtapes - Cool Kids and Bone Thugs


Bone Thugs: Fixtape 3 (Special Delivery)

Cook Kids: Merry Christmas

SMU vs. WSU


Another installment of the annual "Battle of the Rock" finishes as expected... but this one was a little different.

SMU was leading 11-2 at one point and went into the half down by only four (40-36). They continued to nip at the heels of the D2 power until about eight minutes into the second half, where WSU established a double-digit margin and held out for the win.

Consider the past two meetings between these teams to put things into perspective:

2008: WSU 92, SMU 65
2007: WSU 118, SMU 53... wow.

I almost consider this year's game a moral victory. We stuck with a national D2 powerhouse for 30 minutes and gave them a GOOD scare. It made me so damn happy to see WSU panicking when they were down 11-2.

David Johnson is just too good. The HVL product is so well-rounded that he was scoring in the paint almost as much as from outside. His three-point shot wasn't as effective as other games this season, but he still sunk 22 points and made the difference for WSU.

C.J. Erickson will be a legendary player at WSU by his senior year. Don't let his meager appearance fool you - the scraggly beard and white tee distract his defenders while he dunks over them. He finished an amazing play tonight where Brad Meyer and him were working a 2 on 1 break against Tim Kunkel; Meyer wisely gave it to Erickson who slammed over Kunkel, picked up the and-one and crashed into the bottom of the hoop. The guy plays with reckless abandon and is well-rounded.

The only two gripes I had were related to the WSU fans. And yes, I consider myself one of them (when they're not playing against SMU)... but they are just absolutely spoiled from a few years of dominance. This is NOT the same Warrior team from a few years ago. All I heard at the scores table was grown men complaining about the calls being made against WSU or even worse, the "non-calls." They think every damn call is going to go their way! Every time down accusations were being tossed around of travels or tic-tac fouls. I guess this is probably just the nature of a passionate home crowd, but it bothered me for the first time ever in McCown gym.

The meat of my frustration comes from the absolute jokers that were dressed as power rangers standing at the corner of the gym. When school is in session, McCown is a home court to be scared of, as students line the court and provide constant noise and intimidation. But with tonight being a non-conference game and students being away for Christmas break, there were these four douchebags that insisted on pestering SMU all game. They were dressed in the stupidest fucking outfits and were behaving in extreme poor taste. The incident that made me enraged was when SMU's Will Wright was laying on the ground injured and they STILL pointed at him and mocked him. I could barely stand it.

Overall, this is a game that proves that SMU can run with ANYBODY. We killed Bethel, nearly beat Gustavus and kept up with the vastly superior WSU for more than a half. Despite our current 4-4 record, I see us winning at least two of our next three and sitting near the top of the conference. GO CARDINALS!

Monday, December 28, 2009

"Big Poppa" on uke and Bennie Lava





Behold "Bennie Lava"... I laughed so hard at this when I saw it this summer. My roommates and I used to watch this one religiously.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Merry Christmas to all of our readers!

Happy holidays to all of our viewers up to this point. I'm fresh off of another classic Christmas Eve seafood dinner, and with toaster and Seinfeld Season 4 DVD in tow, I'm about to head back to the hotel.

Before I leave you, here's two great clips: The first is Andrew Wiggins, the best basketball player from the class of 2014 - that's eighth grade. I'll be seeing him on December 29th.

The second clip is the famous initial Susan Boyle appearance. My aunt got her debut album for Christmas, and it inspired me to look back on her blockbuster performance that made even Simon smile.




Tuesday, December 22, 2009

DAT ASS

Both president Obama and France's president, Nicolas Sarkozy, take a good hard look at this Brazilian woman at an Italian conference to discuss climate changes and oil prices.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Movie recommendation: Pi (1998)


Pi is a "psychological thriller" from beginning to end. Directed by Darren Aronofsky and released in 1998, the movie is about a man named Max who is both gifted and cursed.

After looking into the sun for too long when he was a child, Max was stricken with temporary blindness and consistent migraine headaches. Since the accident he has had an extraordinary ability with numbers, especially detecting patterns in them. He is convinced that everything - even nature or the stock market - is numerical and works in a pattern.

With the help of his aptitude for math, Max finds a dark secret that is coveted by many. His headaches continue and become more and more painful.

The movie draws many parallels to Requiem for a Dream, which is also an Aronofsky production. Many of the same actors and camera techniques are in both films. Although Pi is a little harder to understand than Requiem, it keeps the viewer captivated from beginning to end and is a haunting depiction of mental disorders, obsessive-compulsive behavior, and the life of a math savant.

The soundtrack is also exceptional. Here's a look at the trailer:

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Insane Domino Effect

Guess What's On My Styrofoam Cup?


This guy and lil' Wayne need to team up. The site has more pics: Sharpie Art on Styrofoam Cups (79 pics)

Snoop Raps About Weed Brownies With Martha Stewart

Snoop Dogg was featured on a recent Martha Stewart show and the two made brownies. While making them Snoop raps about how they are missing 1 key ingredient.

Kid Cudi: "Tearin' it Up"


Spending a lot of time listening to Cudi over break so I decided to pay a little tribute.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Music blog from my friends up in the Twin Cities.

MUSIC THAT ISN'T BAD - A music blog by my friends from the U of M. I was not going to link it but then they impressed me with their work ethic and consistent posting. Check it out...

CRAZY musical composition

Whoever made this is a genius. Props to the world famous Derek Drier for sending me the link.


I lol'd

How you can tell when a black man is lying.

Friday, December 18, 2009

$300 movie trailer get the green light and a $30 mil allowance

"An unknown producer from Uruguay, Fede Alvarez, shelled out about $300 to create a cool video of a robot invasion in Montevideo, the capitol of Uruguay. The four-minute short, "Ataque de Panico!" (Panic Attack) features ginormous (but slow-moving) weapon-wielding robots that blow stuff up."

The amateur director ended up with a YouTube mailbox full of movie deal proposals.

Read the story here.

Here's the $300 clip... pretty nice.

Nice drumming

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Russian color photos from the early 1900's - WOW

It sounds unspectacular at first... but think about it. What's the earliest use of color photography that you can think of? The 1960's?

This dude came out and was doing it as early as 1909. He worked in a train car that was modified to act as a dark room.

Most kids these days (including me) can't quite imagine what life was like from a black & white photograph. When we're young, we think that life actually was B&W back then. But this gallery is such a great perspective, showing the vibrant and brilliant colors from 100 years ago that have never before been recorded.

Very cool website

NEAVE.com - Maybe the most interactive site made by one person that I've ever seen. Go nuts.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Eminem and Lil' Wayne... and Limp Biskit apparently...

So Eminem stopped by the studio while Lil' Wayne was smoking pot and pleasuring himself to his own album covers and they put together some rap/rock song... it's about time.

Eminem Joins Wayne To Drop The World (Audio) | Eminem | Rap Basement


Sunday, December 13, 2009

O.D.B. drunken freestyle + Robocop with live strings

R.I.P. ODB.... and damn, this is the first time I've really liked Robocop.

BLASTOISE!!!

A kid reacts after finding a rare pokemon in his brand new pack. Don't be too quick to judge. Less than a decade ago you would have been jealous as hell.


Trapped in elevator for 41 hours

Pretty scary.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Bert & Ernie/Barney gangsta raps



Best part of the Barney vid is at 1:10.

A Different Side of Sunny



For those of you that know and watch It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia religiously it's common sense. The relationships between the male and female characters are hilarious but non-existent. Charlie, Dennis, and Mac don't give Sweet Dee anything to be proud of and Charlie is constantly turned down yet desperate to get with the waitress. It came to my attention today that not only is Mac married to Sweet Dee but Charlie is married to the waitress. These photos (especially mac and Dee's) gave me a laugh. I guess this makes them good actors.

Corey Brewer baptizes Derek Fisher, 12/11/09

Miley Cyrus has never heard a Jay-Z song

Too many quotables, this clip really angered me. Also, I don't get why that little girl is just sitting next to her or why she's in a Pocahontas outfit.


Friday, December 11, 2009

It's over 9,000!!!!

I can't believe I watched this show... early 00's


WTF



I was on itunes searching around for new music and stumbled upon some very bold claims. I just can't believe what I read about Lil' Wayne's new single, Fire.

You Might Be A Redneck If:

Oozinator

So it's about that time of year for people to begin making their wish lists and start picking out gifts for family and friends. I'm not too sure what any of you guys want for Christmas, but I know that if I could have my way I would not only ask for, but also give all my friends an oozinator. I'm not too sure when this toy hit the market, but it definitely didn't stay on shelves for too long. Just imagine walking around a college campus with one of these things . . . endless money shots!

Far from "amateur"

In my opinion, one of the greatest YouTube videos of all time.


Russian kid drinks a half liter of vodka in 20 seconds

In the world of cheap laughs, there's nothing better than really, really drunk people. Here we see a young Russian boy chug a half liter of vodka and regret it later. This movie truly is a YouTube classic, as I remember viewing it when it first hit the intranets.




And while we're on the topic of chugging...

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Because Mikaburger said so...


For my first submission... a mash-up mixtape with Juvenile rapping over Sleepyhead by Passion Pit.... off the chain...





I saw these guys do a DJ set at First Ave... it was sicker than the sickest boy in Swinefulville....

BasketSmall vs. BasketTall

And everything is going to the beat.

Don't Let the Name Fool You


Yo yo,
I'm ready to see some outrageous stuff and contribute to this blog. As my first post I want to introduce you all to a rapper named Fashawn and his new album Boy Meets World. Some of you may have heard of him but download this album and I promise you will not be disappointed. Some tracks to look out for are Boy Meets World, Hey Young World, and Samsonite Man but also do some exploring. I know some of you will be thinking that his name is a bit whack but never judge a book by its cover. So check it out because I promise you this Boy Meets World album is the coolest thing since Corey Matthews.

Enjoy,

Reddy

"Black Yukon, know what the hell I mean (El-Amin)?"


Check here for a cypher from BET's latest hip hop awards with Wale, Nipsey Hustle, KRS-One and a native African MC. Nice stuff.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

81 pics of Tiger's mistresses


What a great way to kick off DYB!! Here's a large gallery of all the women alleging to have hooked up with Mr. Woods.

Side note: All of this Tiger-bashing is pretty unfair. David Letterman, Glenn Richardson and Steve McNair all got caught cheating this year, but no one really cared. McNair even died as a result of his adultery...

While we're talking about athletes with faulty morals, Favre was an alcoholic and pill-popper. Jordan was a gambling addict and is still a huge jerk. McGuire, Sosa and Bonds were all juicing big-time. The list really goes on and on, enough that almost every huge athlete has some sort of skeletons in their closet. When a normal citizen does something wrong, they can hide it with ease. When a celebrity falters, they get hit in the face with the TMZ tidal wave. Hopefully this ends soon for Tiger, who has otherwise been nothing but a class act in the public eye.

Welcome to DRAIN YOUR BRAIN

Evolved from my previous blog, DYB will have a larger staff of posters and a different goal. Instead of my own little diary, DYB is going to have multiple contributors posting new music, videos, comedy and commentary. I'm excited about the future of this blog.

100 greatest YouTube moments in 4 minutes

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Ron Artest tells a great story

Apparently, his friend was once pierced in the heart by a table leg. Really.


Changes to come

I'm in the middle of talks with some friends about how to amp up this blog... we're looking at changing everything, the name, the style and adding a few more writers.

For now, listen to the man Steve Jordan on the drums.


Monday, November 30, 2009

Best meal I've had all year

Best meal of the year. Lemon caper chicken, pesto pasta, assorted greens and veggies... day after Thanksgiving. Priests really are the best cooks.

I hate American cars


1995 Chevy Lumina - died on the highway
1993 Buick Regal - died
2001 Chevy Prizm - terrible car, en route to death. The thing was even made at a Toyota Corolla plant with a Corolla body... and still the US found a way to fuck it up.

Meanwhile all of the foreign cars my family has owned (01 Toyota Sierra, 98 Honda Civic, 06 Kia Rio) have all been NICE and RELIABLE cars.

Don't get me wrong... I'd love to support American automakers. But this track record is just horrible. Until Ford/GM/Chrysler shows me something, I'll stay with the foreigners.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Monday, November 16, 2009

WITHDRAWAL

I lost my god damn mind last week.

After completely switching my medication from Effexor to Wellbutrin, I enjoyed all of the symptoms of a heroin fiend at rehab. Cold/hot, tingling in hands and feet, chronic headaches, dizziness and constant nausea. Awesome. This went on for five days...

Pretty much one of the worst weeks of my life. I'm behind in everything, including the classes that I wasn't doing that well in to begin with.

One good thing did come into my life - Apocalypse Now Redux. What a great movie.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Gopher football player arrested in front of pizza temple


Look man, I don't care if you start a fight at Pizza Hut, Dominos, Little Caesars, whatever.

Just don't bring that shit to Mesa.

The best pizza-by-the-slice parlor I've ever been to had freshman Gophers DB Michael Carter fighting someone outside of it last weekend. He resisted cops' attempts to pat him down, and probably kept a few people from getting their damn slice.

Mesa is the greatest pizza experience I've ever seen, and young freshmen that don't know what's up need to educate themselves quickly - respect the temple.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

The epitomé of my hate for Brett Favre.


This is why I hate him.

What follows is an excerpt from page 65 of the book "Favre" by Brett Favre & Bonita Favre.

"I wouldn't waste my time playing somewhere else. It doesn't matter how much money I was offered, either. I'm loved here in Green Bay, and I love Green Bay, too. If I went to another team I'm sure I'd step out onto the field for the first time, in someone else's uniform, and say to myself, What in the hell are you doing? Get your butt out of here! Playing somewhere else? It will never happen. This is where my family is. This is where my heart is. This is where I belong."

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Slug from Atmosphere

This guy really rubbed me the wrong way a few years back at a First Ave show... he seemed smug and too cynical.

Regardless, this freestyle is sick. Note the wigger DJ Peter Parker...


Monday, September 28, 2009

"I'm a maniac, MANIAC"


Ever wondered what the most horrible thing is on the entire internet? There are varying opinions on what exactly that is, but I think most agree that it's the Dnepropetrovsk murder tape, a.k.a. "3 guys 1 hammer".

The "Dnepropetrovsk maniacs" (as the Euro media coined them) murdered 21 people in the span of a month. They basically were three frustrated Ukrainian teenagers that were batshit crazy and loved to torture animals. Apparently one day they decided to upgrade to people, and went on their spree.

When one of these douchebags tried to sell a cell phone belonging to one of their victims, the police tracked the signal to a pawn shop. Two of them are serving life sentences while another faces 15 years.

The video mentioned above truly is a monstrosity. I won't link to the footage, but if you're creative enough you can definitely find it. In summary, the two craziest maniacs are in the woods, stabbing a guy with a screwdriver and hitting him in the face with a hammer. I think it's the only internet video that I couldn't bear watching and turned off halfway through. If you want to learn more, however, their Wikipedia article is very interesting (it's linked above).

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Boats and Bluegrass

I spent my Saturday night at the Boats and Bluegrass Festival at Prairie Island. What a blast! I never knew mandolins could be so cool...

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

The Gucci Debate

The eternal question emerges. Is Gucci Mane a legitimate rapper? "Experts" say no. But while Gucci is slammed by rap elitists, his videos on YouTube soar in popularity and hits. Fans say his charisma and delivery is on point; critics say he is the cancer that is killing rap music. You be the judge...


Saturday, September 19, 2009

Terrible, I know.

Hello father, it's been a month since my last confession blog post...

Words cannot describe how much I hate Charter Communications. I've been living in this apartment for over a month, and they still claim that our apartment building is a "work in progress." Without cable or internet, the best thing I can do with my time is look out the window at the highway adjacent to our apartment or take a nap. I guess I could do homework, but without internet it's pretty tough to get onto SparkNotes.

Lots has happened since my last post... my 21st birthday, the start of school, and the start of a massive amount of Kanye memes. On Wednesday I get internet (from HBC, a local bullshit provider) so I should be able to update more frequently. Stay with me, Poo-fans.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

One week left.

On Saturday I'll be departing from Minneapolis and moving to my more permanent home in Winona. I am incredibly excited for the school year to start for various reasons: my brother will be attending; a new year of SMU athletics; and I will also be turning 21 very soon. I will definitely miss the Twin Cities, though!

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

My top 25 rap songs of all time

I've wanted to do this for a while. Keep in mind that these are my FAVORITE songs and not what I perceive as the "best". That list would probably be very different.

These are the songs that make me love rap, the songs that I can remember where and when I was when I first heard them; the songs that make me think back to specific memories, people, and events. They all hold a special place in my heart.

I tried to tag all my friends that dig hip-hop, sorry if I missed you.




1. Uncommon Valor by Jedi Mind Tricks

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7r0KpWMNxnM

The storytelling style immerses the listener directly in the Vietnam War, with Vinnie Paz dropping his usual cutting lyrics on top of a haunting sample. An incredibly impressive second verse by R.A. The Rugged Man makes this song my favorite rap song ever. RA sat down with his father, decorated veteran John Thorburn, for several hours and crafted this masterpiece verse with great detail.

I have goosebumps every time I listen to this song! This is what rap is supposed to be about... forget Gucci Mane.

2. Stan by Eminem

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sCST1i7tiAU

Another masterpiece. Marshall Mathers perfectly captures a tragic story in rhyme form. The link above is to the version with Elton John singing the hook at the Grammys. Also, this is one of the sickest sampled hooks around.

3. Buggin' Out by A Tribe Called Quest

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XRsLLeWVX6A

Two words: OLD SCHOOL. A filthy bass line with a splashy ride cymbal prove that less is more.

4. Paid in Full by Eric B & Rakim

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZElWBsoyvUo

With this song, Rakim Allah invented flow. The beat also uses some of the most famous samples in hip-hop... making them famous.

5. Notorious Thugs by Notorious B.I.G. and Bone Thugs-N-Harmony

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p18uNMfwp34

Combining two of the best flows in rap, this track is a weed-smoking anthem.

6. T.R.O.Y. (They Reminisce Over You) by Pete Rock & CL Smooth

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FiOcVWQY2bc

7. C.R.E.A.M. by Wu-Tang Clan

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bjZRAvsZf1g

"I grew up on the crime side, the New York Times side, where stayin' alive was no jive" If this song doesn't put you onto Wu-Tang, I don't know what to tell you.

8. 99 Problems by Jay-Z

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=etl9kkIGaHo

A sick black and white video compliments a dirty, dirty track.

9. Shook Ones part II by Mobb Deep

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cP0wsET8__Y

10. Through the Wire by Kanye West

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uvb-1wjAtk4

Took sampling to a new level.

11. Triumph by Wu-Tang Clan

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=isumZjs3dKA

Inspectah Deck takes this track's first verse straight to the classic rack. It sounds like dude scanned Webster's Dictionary to come up with this stuff.

12. Fight the Power by Public Enemy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8PaoLy7PHwk

13. Brooklyn's Finest by Jay-Z, featuring Notorious B.I.G.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QIO0nbDEKAQ

Two of the greatest in their prime.

14. Daydreamin' by Lupe Fiasco

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vUZTiIOsvbw

The lyrical prodigy in his debut album... so damn descriptive.

15. Thug Luv by Bone Thugs-N-Harmony featuring Tupac

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Z9nXD8HjIA

Bizzy kills the first verse, then Pac comes in and it's a wrap.

16. Run's House by Run-DMC

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HgJTREb_jWc

My favorite rap group in 8th grade. Truly trendsetters...

17. I Got a Story To Tell by Notorious B.I.G.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6df0rha_Opw

Another brilliant storytelling track. Biggie was the master.

18. Player's Ball by Outkast

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YBFYZxu2dw

Drops harder than almost any track I've heard. Video is dope.

19. Hate it or Love it by The Game, featuring 50 Cent

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9HtN5yf8_DI

Sort of a guilty pleasure. St. Louis cross-cultural trip anyone?

20. Touch the Sky by Kanye West, featuring Lupe Fiasco

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dldtY9ZbqYs

The first time I saw Mr. Fiasco on a major track.... after that fire verse, I knew he was something. Off my favorite Kanye album.

21. Ghetto Gospel by Tupac, featuring Elton John

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IxR4AweLeXE

A perfect sample off of Elton John's "Indian Sunset" makes this one soulful post-mortem Tupac song.

22. Da Art of Storytellin' part 1 by Outkast, featuring Slick Rick

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vVk_msmEK5s

Another storytelling classic. MC Ricky D comes in and brings the old school flavor.

23. Day and Night by Kid Cudi

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKp5iscRBGk

Perfectly embodies the loner stoner Cudi. What a simple yet effective beat.

24. Ate Miles From the City of Dope by Andre Nickatina, featuring Equipto

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mcB3ZELagtI

I'm a little embarrassed that Andre Nicky T isn't higher on the list. This is my favorite beat of his, ever. Where my tigers at?

25. My Life by The Game, featuring Lil' Wayne

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TaKI9IhSvis

Another guilty pleasure Game track. Dude is corny at times, but sometimes he can hit emotions like no one else. Wayne keeps his mumbling garbage off the track and instead keeps the hook real soulful.


HONORABLE MENTION

Real Muthafuckin' G's by Eazy-E
88 by The Cool Kids
East 1999 by Bone Thugs-N-Harmony
Mr. Me Too ft Pharrell by Clipse
I Used To Love H.E.R. by Common
Hip Hop by Dead Prez
Battlesong by Deltron 3030
Roc Boys (And The Winner Is).. by Jay-Z
US Placers featuring Lupe Fiasco and Pharrell by Kanye West
Little Weapon (featuring Bishop G & Nikki Jean) by Lupe Fiasco
One Mic by Nas
Down With The King by Run-D.M.C.
Doe Boy Fresh f/ Chamillionaire by Three 6 Mafia
2 Of Americas Most Wanted by Tupac
Patiently Waiting (featuring Eminem) by 50 Cent

Monday, July 20, 2009

NEW BEAT

Dig my latest beat entitled, "Longcat"


Chipotle


I've officially sampled every kind of Chipotle burrito as of last week. Here is my analysis:

Vegetarian: LOL
Barbacoa: Too spicy and slimey. This is shredded beef for you n00bs.
Carnitas: This is pork... perfect blend of texture and spice. Mmm.
Chicken: Ok, but seems to have lots of gristle in it. Also the cheapest option.
Steak: Way too tough. I caught myself chewing individual pieces too often.

In the end, the winner is by far carnitas. That shit is on POINT. If I had to mix it up, I'd fiend off of some chicken. Stay away from the steak, in my opinion.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Legendary?

This picture struck me as incredible. I'm having trouble displaying it on the blog, so here's a link.

Will anyone that was a fan of Winona State basketball ever forget about Jonte Flowers, John Smith, or Quincy Henderson? The trio brought fame and recognition to the small river town of Winona. For a high school kid obsessed with sports, there was no better event to attend than a WSU home game.

Here are some YouTube clips that are sure to bring some memories back.










Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Charity work

On my daily route to work I pass a Catholic Charities building. Today I drove by and saw a familiar sight - several privileged white teenagers attempting to clean a yard on the same block. They were skinny, blond, wearing name-brand clothes, and stood out like a sore thumb.

This strikes a chord with me because as recently as three years ago, that was me. I went on three different community service trips in Chicago, St. Louis, and New York City. I remember constantly being uncomfortable and wishing that I was there by myself rather than 30 white kids decked out in Abercrombie gear. I also remember the crippling anxiety attacks I suffered daily, and how I still had no idea what was happening to me. It was like puberty, but 10 times worse.

The thing I always wondered was, how much did these efforts really help? It's rare for me to quote the Bible, but Jesus said once that there will always be poor. Are these suburbanites better people because they went a week without iPods and Facebook to serve others? What happens when they go back to their three-car garage worlds and forget about everything they saw? The trips I went on were full of mixed emotions. I was shocked by the poverty, amazed at the metropolis settings, and both scared of the comments and proud of the compliments that we would receive from strangers.

I miss those trips. There really was nothing like the girl in your group that exclaims on the NYC subway, "so THAT's where the World Trade Center used to be." Could there be a better invitation for robbery?

Friday, July 10, 2009

I'm in love.


Today at work I attended my first-ever Mac users luncheon. We discussed such riveting topics as using VirtualBox, speech recognition, and Y2K. There was also free pizza.

I looked to my right and noticed a very cute, blond girl that looked to be in her mid-twenties. The fact that she was at a Mac luncheon turned me on; her fashion choice struck me as the graphic designer type.

She started to browse the internet, so of course I was watching what sites she was on. Out of nowhere, she pulls the image at right out of her e-mail, and into another e-mail where she sends it to many, many contacts.

DEAR JESUS IT'S THE LONGCAT. Longcat is a legendary internet meme that has spread through the unholy, demonic website known as 4chan... or a.k.a. my new favorite site that I found this summer. What kind of woman is this... she is beautiful, blond, at a fucking Mac lunch, AND SHE LOVES THE LONGCAT?

In other, non-cat related news, I got this message today on YouTube from a user named "brotcapo"

"foul mouth trash. blocked

God hates you"

WOWO... Dude must have caught feelings over a comment I made yesterday on a WBC video. If you want to quickly learn more about this douche, read what he had to say on his YouTube profile description:

brotcapo
Joined: January 13, 2009
Last Sign In: 2 hours ago
Videos Watched: 2,706
Subscribers: 6
Channel Views: 1,592
"The Bible is clear, No fags in heaven. and before you get pissed at the word Fags, its a metaphor , an allusion to the fact that fags BURN in their lust?"
Age: 54
Country: United States

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Page views

AKONPOO has amassed 2,400+ visits since I started keeping track of hits in September of 2008. Does this mean I've influenced over two thousand web surfers with my expert analysis and opinion? ... possibly.

In other news, I'm sorry for the sheer amount of YouTube videos that I post, but I really can't help it.

Funny kid asking NBA players funny questions

Monday, July 6, 2009

50 Cent?

I really thought that Curtis Jackson was done; I mean after all, his wager with Kanye West went terribly wrong, and no one cared when he made a movie or a video game or whatever the hell that shit was.

50 has done two things in the last week, however, that have caused him to regain my respect.

ONE: Made a hilarious YouTube appearance with Pruane2Forever, my new favorite vlogger.




TWO:Came out with a bangin' new mixtape with DJ Whoo Kid, available for free from DatPiff here. Is this a sign of things to come?

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Nas and Damien Marley @ First Ave.

I saw the Queensbridge M.C. and Kingston reggaeton combine for a beautiful live show tonight. They had a full live band and played shit from classics to new recordings. The only thing that bothered me were these forty-somethings that pretty much had me pinned against the rail with their hippy dancing. Lots of rastas were there for Marley... I thought Nas was sicker though.


Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Monday, June 29, 2009

A tough weekend

This weekend was especially hard. It's different mourning a 32-year-old compared to a 87-year-old... Jeff's death was unexpected and jarring. I gave the eulogy, my first and hopefully my last.

There's only one thing that can cheer me up at this point.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

R.I.P.

My cousin, Jeff Hugo, died last night at 11:30 pm. He had cancer in his knee and his lung, and his heart gave out with some sort of mass pressing on it.

It's hard to believe that he's gone; I think the thing I'll remember most about him is his laugh. He was super funny and I always loved joking around with him and the rest of my cousins and uncles. He was also the first one to put me onto Run-DMC, and he always wanted me to come down to Chicago to visit him. I never got to...

One of the worst parts of the whole thing is that he was engaged. His fiancé, Britt, must be absolutely destroyed. At least the whole family can come together on Saturday, for the funeral.

It's still hard for me to deal with it... I need to do something to distract me. R.I.P. Jeff, I'll miss you for the rest of my life. There's a hole in our family that will never be filled.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Larry Fitzgerald, Jr.

Today I met the best wide receiver in the NFL: Larry Fitzgerald, Jr. of the Arizona Cardinals.


It was on assignment at his community football camp. He was nice enough; chatted with us for a bit and then accepted the photo op request. There were other players at the camp too, like Cris Carter and his son, Dominique Byrd, Steve Breaston and Chris Vincent.

What a day! It's truly a blessing to be able to meet a guy like this, an athlete at the top of his sport.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

J.D. Power & Associates

Who are these guys?

Every time I see a truck commercial it seems like J.D. Power and Associates "rated it #1 in its class" or "gave it a 5-star crash test rating". Does every truck ever get these awards?

I think I'm going to start a business called the Conover Corporation. We'll give products 5 stars and thumbs up and various other awards for $100,000 apiece. No one will ever know who we are or what we do, just like J.D. Power and his crew. Who's with me?

I quit.

My job in the meat department lasted two weeks. I couldn't stand:

- The 6 a.m. - 2 p.m. shift... getting up at 5 am? No thanks.

- The "lifers" who had been working there for 20+ years and have their own way of doing things... and they get mad when you don't do things like them.

- The literally non-stop manual labor. Call me a pussy, but that's not what I'm good at.

Those three things combined caused me to quit in the middle of an especially sleep-deprived shift. I didn't just walk out; I simply told my manager not to schedule me next week. Or the week after that...

I feel like on my last two days, however, I met a few guys that were pretty cool in different departments. I was also offered to come back for the dairy department, so I may do that. Until then I'll be wallowing in poverty.

Monday, June 1, 2009

"In the streets... of San Francisco..."

I wanted to use this song for a sample on one of my beats, but I decided not to when I heard this masterpiece. So soulful!


Thursday, May 28, 2009

"Hey, MEAT MAN!"

Today at my new job, some bitch yelled out at me from across the store, "hey meat man!"

I stopped in my tracks. It was the worst way someone has addressed me since I got called a motherfucker and punched in the middle of a Minneapolis street (see a few months back for that one).

She was a short woman with glasses and a black, short, spiky haircut. Her dumb-looking daughter was next to her.

Spikes: Hey meat man!
Me: ... Yeah?
Where's the shrimp at?
Umm... did you check the cooler?
Yeah, the kind I like aren't there. Where's the smaller cocktail shrimp in a bag?
Well, we have them fresh in our counter behind the glass.
No, I want them in a bag. Can you check?

I moseyed on back behind the counter, into the back room. I faked my "check" and took a swig of my Sierra Mist. No way I'm doing this woman any favors.

I told her we were "out," and she stomped off. I hope something happened to her in the parking lot...

British athletics

This is some crazy shit! We need more sporting events like this. People chasing after a 8-lb wheel of cheese...

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Bollywood LOLs

One of the top YouTube videos I've ever seen.

"Benny Lava"

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

The roommate stand-off

It happens quite frequently: one roommate refuses to do something, usually a menial chore, and the ensuing conflict stretches for an extended period of time. Two instances immediately come to mind when thinking of a classic roommate stand-off.

The first example took place in Gilmore this year. Jake refused to clean his room until (in an inebriated state) he gathered all of his trash into three big bags. He then left said bags next to his sink in the bathroom. This sink, by the way, was no treat either; it may or may not have been the root of the H1N1 virus outbreak with its collective grime, stains, and beard shavings.

Jake's "garbage bag conflict" was the talk of the dorm for weeks. Who would take it out? Jake refused to, and none of his roommates would do his work for him. They attempted to strike deals, but neither side could reach an agreement.

Finally, when Jake was in Arizona for a baseball team trip, his roommate Dave threw the bags onto Jake's bed. This was meant to send a message, and that it did: Jake took out the bags as soon as he returned from sunny Arizona.

The second stand-off that recently occurred was at my current residence in Minneapolis; Bryan Cooper, noted for his lazy tendencies, extended his dishes day into a dishes two-weeks. Piled high and reaching critical mold mass, the dishes were hampering the lifestyles of everyone in the house. I had even brought my own dishes, and people were starting to steal my supplies as a result of the clean dish drought. Moral was at an all-time low with residents using plastic cups as cereal bowls and re-using plastic forks multiple times.

Cooper had promised to do the dishes many times throughout the two week period, but every time he managed to slither out of it. He cited class, naps, and even TV shows as reasons why he was not going to do them. Finally, after much verbal abuse, he finally did them. Barely before he left for the week, he went into beast-mode and washed the entire dish collection. It marked a two-week hiatus of chore duty, possibly a new house record.

He didn't leave without leaving his own sly revenge, however; he left all the drying dishes out on the dining room table minutes before he left town. This left Flynn and I to the almost equally-despicable task of putting away the dishes. Damn Cooper. Damn roommate stand-offs... they almost always lead to decreased roommate relations and bitter feelings afterwards.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

"The Wedge" Co-op experience

I moseyed down to Lyndale Avenue the other day looking for a job. I stepped into this organic foods co-op called "The Wedge" and thought I was in Haight-Ashbury. Damn, hippies everywhere!

The place was cool though. The lady I got my application from was like, "it's a nice day outside! Why don't you go fill out your app over on one of our stones?" I walked outside and, lo and behold, there were three perfect stones for sitting on in the middle of a garden. This was right next to the typical hippie bulletin board and bike rack holding 75% of the customers' bikes. I walked out of the place buying a container of tabouli, too. Stuff is good.

I have NOTHING against hippies, I love the way they live and I think their intentions are awesome. They're just funny sometimes!

Thursday, May 7, 2009

I'm here!

I got up to Minneapolis yesterday. Today entails job searching and learning the art of cooking frugally... damn.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Wolverine... sucks.


I saw this movie with two friends the day it came out. We thought it would be packed, but to our surprise the theater only yielded about 50% of its capacity. Was this a sign of things to come?

The whole thing with the Civil War/WW1/WW2/Vietnam War was pretty cool... until I realized that Logan was Canadian and probably wouldn't have been involved in any of those conflicts. I became concerned almost immediately afterwards when I saw Logan, Victor, and their tight little "squad" running up on an African diamond king, and their Asian homie jumps over a fence, spins around like 30 times, shoots about 15 guards and lands like a Dragonball Z character. I then proceed to become VERY concerned when I see RYAN REYNOLDS (you know, that douche from Van Wilder) running around and deflecting... bullets... with his swords. WTF?

I tried to stay positive, but so many things about this movie prompted laughter from our camp. Possibly the most ridiculous scene was when Logan sparked his claws on the ground, started a perfect gasoline fire in a straight line that led to a crashed helicopter, and walked away somehow not noticing the massive explosion behind him. CORNY.

The action is pretty cool, and there are some sweet mutant powers like teleportation, diamond skin, and the tight shit pulled by Creole swindler Remy LeBeau - a.k.a. Gambit. But what was with the CGI? They used it about as much as Star Wars Episode I. Why do lumberjacks need to be computer animated? Why do Wolverine's claws look straight out of a N64 game from 1997?

There are just too many glaring holes to respect this movie. I wanted to enjoy it, believe me... unfortunately, Van Wilder and the N64 claws made that impossible.

Thursday, April 30, 2009

"DA BOSSES"

Cats need to recognize the #1 flag football team in the SMU community. Fourth consecutive championship...

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

So negligent.

No posts since the 18th... I'm sorry. A largely unnecessary and trite personal crisis came up.

In the time between my last post and now, I've done several things:

- Observed 6+ hours of the NFL draft and came away very satisfied

- Purchased a Venus fly trap

- Solidified things with my new apartment next year, including settling on roommates

- Learned a small amount of Chinese calligraphy

- Acquired an unreasonable addiction to It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

- Made at least two more instrumentals with great potential

It really has been a productive 10 days. In other news, here is a great clip that I recently came across via PFT:


Friday, April 17, 2009

A tribute to John Madden


John Madden changed the 90's. Not because of his announcing, per se - but rather because of his unforgettable contribution to the video game world with the Madden football franchise.

Madden retired from announcing yesterday, almost certainly meaning that his video game line will be renamed. This, dear readers, is a tragedy.

I can't tell you how many countless hours of my junior high and high school years were dedicated to Madden on my PS2. I used to absolutely FIEND for the franchise modes of Madden 03-06, playing it in between two-a-day football practices. I will always remember posting up on my parents' porch, Maddy cat by my side, and playing my PS2 until the late hours of the night. The Madden parties of freshman year were also legendary.

For those memories, John Madden, I will be forever indebted.

Monday, April 13, 2009

I was on TV, twice

A follow-up on the Chris Andersen incident... apparently I was on live TV heckling him, and the announcer said, "those kids should quit it. Every time they heckle him, he does something good."

That game is now officially the most fun I've had a sporting event ever, despite the 22-point loss!

Brawl in the city

I spent my Spring Break this year scavenging for jobs in Minneapolis. I don't think I've been rejected that much since freshman year Homecoming... anyways, the real action took place on Friday night.

My friends and I were dipping from a party that the cops busted. I was going downstairs to get my sweatshirt when a large policeman with a bulletproof vest and a nightstick made eye contact with me; I immediately made it a large priority to get out of the house. Keep in mind I was also eight Keystones and a few shots deep, a large amount for a lightweight like myself.

We were about three blocks away when this pack of guys started giving us shit. I'm not exactly sure how it started, but we found out quickly that this group was very drunk and very volatile.

Let me lay out the situation: Our group was composed of myself, my friend Kyle, some random girl, and my friend Mike and his girlfriend. Their group was three drunk black guys ready to fight. I was still trying to size everything up when three more of their buddies pulled up in a white SUV. This is when I knew we were in trouble.

The trio kept yelling things like, "what you tryin' to say?" and "I'll fuckin' kill you, faggot!" (what nice, diplomatic statements!) I was trying to calm down the main assailant when I looked left and saw Kyle get pushed down and cracked across the face. I looked back at my dude and he swung at me, grazing my left cheek. At this point I realized I had backed into a busy street, and was holding up traffic.

No punches were returned, and the trio scampered off yelling a trail of obscenities. Kyle and I limped back to our home base, trying to figure out what exactly happened.

I've had a week to reflect on this incident, and I've decided that I did exactly the right thing. The guys in the SUV could have easily had knifes or guns, which were both things that none of us had. We arguably behaved like pussies, but it was in our best interest.

Oh well. Is every night in Minneapolis going to be like this?

An Easter video showing

I have plenty of stories to share from Spring Break this year... but first, I'll start off tonight with possibly the best YouTube video I've seen all year. Presenting.... the greatest workplace safety video ever.


Sunday, April 5, 2009

Best T-Wolves loss ever.

So I got free tickets to the Timberwolves/Nuggets game tonight, and I rolled over to the Target Center with four of my buddies. First we enjoyed some fine cuisine at Applebee's, and we had the most hyped-up waiter ever. Dude's name was Chris and he had to be on coke... "ok hot wings? doyouwant mildhotorbarbeque???? oksoundsgood!!" Straight Twista about it.

When we got to the game, we realized how good our tickets were: 7th row. We were right behind the Nuggets bench, and we immediately began heckling Chris Andersen.

For those of you that are not familiar with the NBA player known as Chris Andersen, just know this: he is the most trashy-looking white guy currently playing in the L.

We were so close, we easily got his attention. First Franc yells, "Hey Anderson!" He looked back during a water break and gave us a thumbs up. I followed that up with, "Nice tattoos man!!" The rest of his bench really didn't like that, especially Johan Petro. The guy looked back at me like I murdered someone.

We were also on the big screen at least three times. One was for the kiss cam (when they put a couple on camera and try to get them to kiss) and Joe Franc and I fake made out. Another time was when they put on a beat and filmed people dancing... Mike and Joe did "the running man" while I did the custom Gilmore dance. I then proceeded to flash the "V.O." sign and we were promptly cut off.

Apparently I was on T.V. too for when I shot a Best Buy basketball at this hoop a guy had. It didn't really get close, I had to throw it across two sections. Speaking of sections, I'd estimate at least 50% of each one was empty. Talk about low attendance, the Target Center was EMPTY. I still had a blast.

Friday, April 3, 2009

OMG fooled

I had to do something for April Fool's. Sorry if it was weak.

On a depressing note, I saw the movie Requiem for a Dream last night. I think I was in a bad mood for a solid 24 hours afterwards... dear god what a powerful film.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

A new beginning?

You may be wondering why a new entry hasn't been published in a while... the truth is simple.

I've been spending too much time down by the creek.

Gilmore Creek is an amazing entity... it ebbs and flows with the smoothness of a Weather Report bassline. Every creature, plant, and littered Cardinal Club cup work together to create a perfect representation of nature and her magical ways.

It is because of my appreciation for the creek and all of nature that I have decided to make a radical change in my life. After this semester, I will embark up to Anchorage for salmon hatchery training. My fellow fishlovers and I will train for 6 weeks before the hatching season, and then travel out to locations all over the native land to capture the beasts in their prime.


I don't want to abandon SMU and all of my academic work, but I realized that college educations are overrated when you can be bathing in the sunrays of the Bering Strait in the prime of the salmon season.

Wish me luck, AKONPOO.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Internet was down for 3 days.. what a breach!

Our wonderful technology/computer/helpdesk dept./area people yet again let me down for a long period of time, this time for three whole days. It was finally fixed about an hour ago.

In other news, here is a man driving an SUV through a mall.


Thursday, March 26, 2009

False hopes

Every time I take a test, I'll walk out of the classroom asking my peers how they think they did. I know teachers don't like it, but I am so nosey I just have to know.

After my last PR test, I asked a girl I knew how she felt about it. She said something to the tune of, "OMG I did so badly, I didn't study at all." This made me feel a little better because I was in the same boat.

Turns out she got an 81 out of 84. WTF... I got a 59/84. There's no way she didn't study... why did she lie?

I hate posers, especially posers posing to be pieces of shit.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Sunday, March 22, 2009

My bracket = fail


So my Final Four pick of Wake Forest proved to be amateur, and several other parts of my bracket are decomposing as we speak.

You know what I hate? A lot of things. One of these is Dick Vitale and the rest of the talking heads picking ALL TOP SEEDS in their predictions.

Vitale's Elite Eight prediction on ESPN had all 1 and 2 seeds except for ONE match-up going 1-3. Then his Final Four was all #1 seeds... do we even need Vitale to make these predictions? You could just follow the seeding until the Final Four when you flip a few coins. Stupid Vitale, he's only on TV to suck off Duke and say his phrases in a funny voice.

I'm currently watching Wisconsin vs. Xavier, and it's really sloppy. So far the buzzcuts have been taking long two's and Xavier has been... well... not good.

Don't get me wrong, I like the tournament in general so far. I could really see Syracuse going to the Final Four, Jonny Flynn is so hot right now.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

It's a beautiful day... time for a new STORY FROM MY CHILDHOOD (part 4)

It's finally nice out in Minnesota for the first time in a while. I'm sitting out on a picnic table typing this, enjoying the spring breeze. What better circumstances to ruminate on an old memory?

It was 2nd grade in Mr. Feuerhelm's room. We were about to take a spelling test, which at the time was equivalent to the ACT in terms of preparation. Kids used to take home their spelling lists and pour over them with their parents in hopes of getting that illustrious "10 out of 10" score.

We were getting out our lined sheets of looseleaf paper (no fringes, mind you) when this goofy-ass kid named Aaron raised his hand. He was about to ask a question, but was quickly silenced in light of the upcoming test.

Mid-test, we heard a scream from the other side of the room. Aaron had fucking pissed his pants. Everyone got up and was all "LOL" about it. Mr. F frantically exclaimed, "Aaron, why didn't you just go?"

Aaron replied, "because I didn't want to interrupt the test!" I was even more LOL. Aaron ran to the bathroom to clean himself up, and all that remained was a small puddle of urine on his seat.

The poor janitor had to sanitize the area, which leads me to think: would an elementary maitenence job be the worst job ever? Kids are constantly breaking things and releasing bodily fluids. You would have no satisfaction, since no one says thank you and you are virtually guaranteed to be made fun of by the students. Odds are, even the teachers don't like you all that much since your forearms are tattooed and you chew through a tin per day.

I would bet that at least 75% of elementary school janitors are alcoholics.