NEW BEAT

Dig my latest beat entitled, "Longcat"

Chipotle

I've officially sampled every kind of Chipotle burrito as of last week. Here is my analysis:

Vegetarian: LOL
Barbacoa: Too spicy and slimey. This is shredded beef for you n00bs.
Carnitas: This is pork... perfect blend of texture and spice. Mmm.
Chicken: Ok, but seems to have lots of gristle in it. Also the cheapest option.
Steak: Way too tough. I caught myself chewing individual pieces too often.

In the end, the winner is by far carnitas. That shit is on POINT. If I had to mix it up, I'd fiend off of some chicken. Stay away from the steak, in my opinion.

Legendary?

This picture struck me as incredible. I'm having trouble displaying it on the blog, so here's a link.

Will anyone that was a fan of Winona State basketball ever forget about Jonte Flowers, John Smith, or Quincy Henderson? The trio brought fame and recognition to the small river town of Winona. For a high school kid obsessed with sports, there was no better event to attend than a WSU home game.

Here are some YouTube clips that are sure to bring some memories back.

Charity work

On my daily route to work I pass a Catholic Charities building. Today I drove by and saw a familiar sight - several privileged white teenagers attempting to clean a yard on the same block. They were skinny, blond, wearing name-brand clothes, and stood out like a sore thumb.

This strikes a chord with me because as recently as three years ago, that was me. I went on three different community service trips in Chicago, St. Louis, and New York City. I remember constantly being uncomfortable and wishing that I was there by myself rather than 30 white kids decked out in Abercrombie gear. I also remember the crippling anxiety attacks I suffered daily, and how I still had no idea what was happening to me. It was like puberty, but 10 times worse.

The thing I always wondered was, how much did these efforts really help? It's rare for me to quote the Bible, but Jesus said once that there will always be poor. Are these suburbanites better people because they went a week without iPods and Facebook to serve others? What happens when they go back to their three-car garage worlds and forget about everything they saw? The trips I went on were full of mixed emotions. I was shocked by the poverty, amazed at the metropolis settings, and both scared of the comments and proud of the compliments that we would receive from strangers.

I miss those trips. There really was nothing like the girl in your group that exclaims on the NYC subway, "so THAT's where the World Trade Center used to be." Could there be a better invitation for robbery?

I'm in love.

Today at work I attended my first-ever Mac users luncheon. We discussed such riveting topics as using VirtualBox, speech recognition, and Y2K. There was also free pizza.

I looked to my right and noticed a very cute, blond girl that looked to be in her mid-twenties. The fact that she was at a Mac luncheon turned me on; her fashion choice struck me as the graphic designer type.

She started to browse the internet, so of course I was watching what sites she was on. Out of nowhere, she pulls the image at right out of her e-mail, and into another e-mail where she sends it to many, many contacts.

DEAR JESUS IT'S THE LONGCAT. Longcat is a legendary internet meme that has spread through the unholy, demonic website known as 4chan... or a.k.a. my new favorite site that I found this summer. What kind of woman is this... she is beautiful, blond, at a fucking Mac lunch, AND SHE LOVES THE LONGCAT?

In other, non-cat related news, I got this message today on YouTube from a user named "brotcapo"

"foul mouth trash. blocked

God hates you"

WOWO... Dude must have caught feelings over a comment I made yesterday on a WBC video. If you want to quickly learn more about this douche, read what he had to say on his YouTube profile description:

brotcapo

Joined: January 13, 2009

Last Sign In: 2 hours ago

Videos Watched: 2,706

Subscribers: 6

Channel Views: 1,592

"The Bible is clear, No fags in heaven. and before you get pissed at the word Fags, its a metaphor , an allusion to the fact that fags BURN in their lust?"

Age: 54
Country: United States

Page views

AKONPOO has amassed 2,400+ visits since I started keeping track of hits in September of 2008. Does this mean I've influenced over two thousand web surfers with my expert analysis and opinion? ... possibly.

In other news, I'm sorry for the sheer amount of YouTube videos that I post, but I really can't help it.

Funny kid asking NBA players funny questions

50 Cent?

I really thought that Curtis Jackson was done; I mean after all, his wager with Kanye West went terribly wrong, and no one cared when he made a movie or a video game or whatever the hell that shit was.

50 has done two things in the last week, however, that have caused him to regain my respect.

ONE: Made a hilarious YouTube appearance with Pruane2Forever, my new favorite vlogger.




TWO:Came out with a bangin' new mixtape with DJ Whoo Kid, available for free from DatPiff here. Is this a sign of things to come?

Nas and Damien Marley @ First Ave.

I saw the Queensbridge M.C. and Kingston reggaeton combine for a beautiful live show tonight. They had a full live band and played shit from classics to new recordings. The only thing that bothered me were these forty-somethings that pretty much had me pinned against the rail with their hippy dancing. Lots of rastas were there for Marley... I thought Nas was sicker though.

A late farewell

Funny! Gotta love the bongos.

A tough weekend

This weekend was especially hard. It's different mourning a 32-year-old compared to a 87-year-old... Jeff's death was unexpected and jarring. I gave the eulogy, my first and hopefully my last.

There's only one thing that can cheer me up at this point.

So you want to learn more about RICKY RUBIO?

Check out my latest YouTube clip:

R.I.P.

My cousin, Jeff Hugo, died last night at 11:30 pm. He had cancer in his knee and his lung, and his heart gave out with some sort of mass pressing on it.

It's hard to believe that he's gone; I think the thing I'll remember most about him is his laugh. He was super funny and I always loved joking around with him and the rest of my cousins and uncles. He was also the first one to put me onto Run-DMC, and he always wanted me to come down to Chicago to visit him. I never got to...

One of the worst parts of the whole thing is that he was engaged. His fiancé, Britt, must be absolutely destroyed. At least the whole family can come together on Saturday, for the funeral.

It's still hard for me to deal with it... I need to do something to distract me. R.I.P. Jeff, I'll miss you for the rest of my life. There's a hole in our family that will never be filled.

Larry Fitzgerald, Jr.

Today I met the best wide receiver in the NFL: Larry Fitzgerald, Jr. of the Arizona Cardinals.


It was on assignment at his community football camp. He was nice enough; chatted with us for a bit and then accepted the photo op request. There were other players at the camp too, like Cris Carter and his son, Dominique Byrd, Steve Breaston and Chris Vincent.

What a day! It's truly a blessing to be able to meet a guy like this, an athlete at the top of his sport.

Is this my ancestor?

J.D. Power & Associates

Who are these guys?

Every time I see a truck commercial it seems like J.D. Power and Associates "rated it #1 in its class" or "gave it a 5-star crash test rating". Does every truck ever get these awards?

I think I'm going to start a business called the Conover Corporation. We'll give products 5 stars and thumbs up and various other awards for $100,000 apiece. No one will ever know who we are or what we do, just like J.D. Power and his crew. Who's with me?

I quit.

My job in the meat department lasted two weeks. I couldn't stand:

- The 6 a.m. - 2 p.m. shift... getting up at 5 am? No thanks.

- The "lifers" who had been working there for 20+ years and have their own way of doing things... and they get mad when you don't do things like them.

- The literally non-stop manual labor. Call me a pussy, but that's not what I'm good at.

Those three things combined caused me to quit in the middle of an especially sleep-deprived shift. I didn't just walk out; I simply told my manager not to schedule me next week. Or the week after that...

I feel like on my last two days, however, I met a few guys that were pretty cool in different departments. I was also offered to come back for the dairy department, so I may do that. Until then I'll be wallowing in poverty.

"In the streets... of San Francisco..."

I wanted to use this song for a sample on one of my beats, but I decided not to when I heard this masterpiece. So soulful!

"Hey, MEAT MAN!"

Today at my new job, some bitch yelled out at me from across the store, "hey meat man!"

I stopped in my tracks. It was the worst way someone has addressed me since I got called a motherfucker and punched in the middle of a Minneapolis street (see a few months back for that one).

She was a short woman with glasses and a black, short, spiky haircut. Her dumb-looking daughter was next to her.

Spikes: Hey meat man!
Me: ... Yeah?
Where's the shrimp at?
Umm... did you check the cooler?
Yeah, the kind I like aren't there. Where's the smaller cocktail shrimp in a bag?
Well, we have them fresh in our counter behind the glass.
No, I want them in a bag. Can you check?

I moseyed on back behind the counter, into the back room. I faked my "check" and took a swig of my Sierra Mist. No way I'm doing this woman any favors.

I told her we were "out," and she stomped off. I hope something happened to her in the parking lot...

British athletics