An Atheist post

Here is an incredibly compelling argument... putting it in layman's terms, it doesn't make much sense.

Bollywood LOLs

One of the top YouTube videos I've ever seen.

"Benny Lava"

The roommate stand-off

It happens quite frequently: one roommate refuses to do something, usually a menial chore, and the ensuing conflict stretches for an extended period of time. Two instances immediately come to mind when thinking of a classic roommate stand-off.

The first example took place in Gilmore this year. Jake refused to clean his room until (in an inebriated state) he gathered all of his trash into three big bags. He then left said bags next to his sink in the bathroom. This sink, by the way, was no treat either; it may or may not have been the root of the H1N1 virus outbreak with its collective grime, stains, and beard shavings.

Jake's "garbage bag conflict" was the talk of the dorm for weeks. Who would take it out? Jake refused to, and none of his roommates would do his work for him. They attempted to strike deals, but neither side could reach an agreement.

Finally, when Jake was in Arizona for a baseball team trip, his roommate Dave threw the bags onto Jake's bed. This was meant to send a message, and that it did: Jake took out the bags as soon as he returned from sunny Arizona.

The second stand-off that recently occurred was at my current residence in Minneapolis; Bryan Cooper, noted for his lazy tendencies, extended his dishes day into a dishes two-weeks. Piled high and reaching critical mold mass, the dishes were hampering the lifestyles of everyone in the house. I had even brought my own dishes, and people were starting to steal my supplies as a result of the clean dish drought. Moral was at an all-time low with residents using plastic cups as cereal bowls and re-using plastic forks multiple times.

Cooper had promised to do the dishes many times throughout the two week period, but every time he managed to slither out of it. He cited class, naps, and even TV shows as reasons why he was not going to do them. Finally, after much verbal abuse, he finally did them. Barely before he left for the week, he went into beast-mode and washed the entire dish collection. It marked a two-week hiatus of chore duty, possibly a new house record.

He didn't leave without leaving his own sly revenge, however; he left all the drying dishes out on the dining room table minutes before he left town. This left Flynn and I to the almost equally-despicable task of putting away the dishes. Damn Cooper. Damn roommate stand-offs... they almost always lead to decreased roommate relations and bitter feelings afterwards.

"The Wedge" Co-op experience

I moseyed down to Lyndale Avenue the other day looking for a job. I stepped into this organic foods co-op called "The Wedge" and thought I was in Haight-Ashbury. Damn, hippies everywhere!

The place was cool though. The lady I got my application from was like, "it's a nice day outside! Why don't you go fill out your app over on one of our stones?" I walked outside and, lo and behold, there were three perfect stones for sitting on in the middle of a garden. This was right next to the typical hippie bulletin board and bike rack holding 75% of the customers' bikes. I walked out of the place buying a container of tabouli, too. Stuff is good.

I have NOTHING against hippies, I love the way they live and I think their intentions are awesome. They're just funny sometimes!

I'm here!

I got up to Minneapolis yesterday. Today entails job searching and learning the art of cooking frugally... damn.

Wolverine... sucks.

I saw this movie with two friends the day it came out. We thought it would be packed, but to our surprise the theater only yielded about 50% of its capacity. Was this a sign of things to come?

The whole thing with the Civil War/WW1/WW2/Vietnam War was pretty cool... until I realized that Logan was Canadian and probably wouldn't have been involved in any of those conflicts. I became concerned almost immediately afterwards when I saw Logan, Victor, and their tight little "squad" running up on an African diamond king, and their Asian homie jumps over a fence, spins around like 30 times, shoots about 15 guards and lands like a Dragonball Z character. I then proceed to become VERY concerned when I see RYAN REYNOLDS (you know, that douche from Van Wilder) running around and deflecting... bullets... with his swords. WTF?

I tried to stay positive, but so many things about this movie prompted laughter from our camp. Possibly the most ridiculous scene was when Logan sparked his claws on the ground, started a perfect gasoline fire in a straight line that led to a crashed helicopter, and walked away somehow not noticing the massive explosion behind him. CORNY.

The action is pretty cool, and there are some sweet mutant powers like teleportation, diamond skin, and the tight shit pulled by Creole swindler Remy LeBeau - a.k.a. Gambit. But what was with the CGI? They used it about as much as Star Wars Episode I. Why do lumberjacks need to be computer animated? Why do Wolverine's claws look straight out of a N64 game from 1997?

There are just too many glaring holes to respect this movie. I wanted to enjoy it, believe me... unfortunately, Van Wilder and the N64 claws made that impossible.

"DA BOSSES"

Cats need to recognize the #1 flag football team in the SMU community. Fourth consecutive championship...

So negligent.

No posts since the 18th... I'm sorry. A largely unnecessary and trite personal crisis came up.

In the time between my last post and now, I've done several things:

- Observed 6+ hours of the NFL draft and came away very satisfied

- Purchased a Venus fly trap

- Solidified things with my new apartment next year, including settling on roommates

- Learned a small amount of Chinese calligraphy

- Acquired an unreasonable addiction to It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

- Made at least two more instrumentals with great potential

It really has been a productive 10 days. In other news, here is a great clip that I recently came across via PFT:

A tribute to John Madden

John Madden changed the 90's. Not because of his announcing, per se - but rather because of his unforgettable contribution to the video game world with the Madden football franchise.

Madden retired from announcing yesterday, almost certainly meaning that his video game line will be renamed. This, dear readers, is a tragedy.

I can't tell you how many countless hours of my junior high and high school years were dedicated to Madden on my PS2. I used to absolutely FIEND for the franchise modes of Madden 03-06, playing it in between two-a-day football practices. I will always remember posting up on my parents' porch, Maddy cat by my side, and playing my PS2 until the late hours of the night. The Madden parties of freshman year were also legendary.

For those memories, John Madden, I will be forever indebted.

I was on TV, twice

A follow-up on the Chris Andersen incident... apparently I was on live TV heckling him, and the announcer said, "those kids should quit it. Every time they heckle him, he does something good."

That game is now officially the most fun I've had a sporting event ever, despite the 22-point loss!

Brawl in the city

I spent my Spring Break this year scavenging for jobs in Minneapolis. I don't think I've been rejected that much since freshman year Homecoming... anyways, the real action took place on Friday night.

My friends and I were dipping from a party that the cops busted. I was going downstairs to get my sweatshirt when a large policeman with a bulletproof vest and a nightstick made eye contact with me; I immediately made it a large priority to get out of the house. Keep in mind I was also eight Keystones and a few shots deep, a large amount for a lightweight like myself.

We were about three blocks away when this pack of guys started giving us shit. I'm not exactly sure how it started, but we found out quickly that this group was very drunk and very volatile.

Let me lay out the situation: Our group was composed of myself, my friend Kyle, some random girl, and my friend Mike and his girlfriend. Their group was three drunk black guys ready to fight. I was still trying to size everything up when three more of their buddies pulled up in a white SUV. This is when I knew we were in trouble.

The trio kept yelling things like, "what you tryin' to say?" and "I'll fuckin' kill you, faggot!" (what nice, diplomatic statements!) I was trying to calm down the main assailant when I looked left and saw Kyle get pushed down and cracked across the face. I looked back at my dude and he swung at me, grazing my left cheek. At this point I realized I had backed into a busy street, and was holding up traffic.

No punches were returned, and the trio scampered off yelling a trail of obscenities. Kyle and I limped back to our home base, trying to figure out what exactly happened.

I've had a week to reflect on this incident, and I've decided that I did exactly the right thing. The guys in the SUV could have easily had knifes or guns, which were both things that none of us had. We arguably behaved like pussies, but it was in our best interest.

Oh well. Is every night in Minneapolis going to be like this?

An Easter video showing

I have plenty of stories to share from Spring Break this year... but first, I'll start off tonight with possibly the best YouTube video I've seen all year. Presenting.... the greatest workplace safety video ever.

Best T-Wolves loss ever.

So I got free tickets to the Timberwolves/Nuggets game tonight, and I rolled over to the Target Center with four of my buddies. First we enjoyed some fine cuisine at Applebee's, and we had the most hyped-up waiter ever. Dude's name was Chris and he had to be on coke... "ok hot wings? doyouwant mildhotorbarbeque???? oksoundsgood!!" Straight Twista about it.

When we got to the game, we realized how good our tickets were: 7th row. We were right behind the Nuggets bench, and we immediately began heckling Chris Andersen.

For those of you that are not familiar with the NBA player known as Chris Andersen, just know this: he is the most trashy-looking white guy currently playing in the L.

We were so close, we easily got his attention. First Franc yells, "Hey Anderson!" He looked back during a water break and gave us a thumbs up. I followed that up with, "Nice tattoos man!!" The rest of his bench really didn't like that, especially Johan Petro. The guy looked back at me like I murdered someone.

We were also on the big screen at least three times. One was for the kiss cam (when they put a couple on camera and try to get them to kiss) and Joe Franc and I fake made out. Another time was when they put on a beat and filmed people dancing... Mike and Joe did "the running man" while I did the custom Gilmore dance. I then proceeded to flash the "V.O." sign and we were promptly cut off.

Apparently I was on T.V. too for when I shot a Best Buy basketball at this hoop a guy had. It didn't really get close, I had to throw it across two sections. Speaking of sections, I'd estimate at least 50% of each one was empty. Talk about low attendance, the Target Center was EMPTY. I still had a blast.

OMG fooled

I had to do something for April Fool's. Sorry if it was weak.

On a depressing note, I saw the movie Requiem for a Dream last night. I think I was in a bad mood for a solid 24 hours afterwards... dear god what a powerful film.

A new beginning?

You may be wondering why a new entry hasn't been published in a while... the truth is simple.

I've been spending too much time down by the creek.

Gilmore Creek is an amazing entity... it ebbs and flows with the smoothness of a Weather Report bassline. Every creature, plant, and littered Cardinal Club cup work together to create a perfect representation of nature and her magical ways.

It is because of my appreciation for the creek and all of nature that I have decided to make a radical change in my life. After this semester, I will embark up to Anchorage for salmon hatchery training. My fellow fishlovers and I will train for 6 weeks before the hatching season, and then travel out to locations all over the native land to capture the beasts in their prime.


I don't want to abandon SMU and all of my academic work, but I realized that college educations are overrated when you can be bathing in the sunrays of the Bering Strait in the prime of the salmon season.

Wish me luck, AKONPOO.

Internet was down for 3 days.. what a breach!

Our wonderful technology/computer/helpdesk dept./area people yet again let me down for a long period of time, this time for three whole days. It was finally fixed about an hour ago.

In other news, here is a man driving an SUV through a mall.

False hopes

Every time I take a test, I'll walk out of the classroom asking my peers how they think they did. I know teachers don't like it, but I am so nosey I just have to know.

After my last PR test, I asked a girl I knew how she felt about it. She said something to the tune of, "OMG I did so badly, I didn't study at all." This made me feel a little better because I was in the same boat.

Turns out she got an 81 out of 84. WTF... I got a 59/84. There's no way she didn't study... why did she lie?

I hate posers, especially posers posing to be pieces of shit.

My rap career continues

New track! Swagga Like Us remix with Northern Exposure.

http://www.zshare.net/audio/575025640be83a2e/

My bracket = fail

So my Final Four pick of Wake Forest proved to be amateur, and several other parts of my bracket are decomposing as we speak.

You know what I hate? A lot of things. One of these is Dick Vitale and the rest of the talking heads picking ALL TOP SEEDS in their predictions.

Vitale's Elite Eight prediction on ESPN had all 1 and 2 seeds except for ONE match-up going 1-3. Then his Final Four was all #1 seeds... do we even need Vitale to make these predictions? You could just follow the seeding until the Final Four when you flip a few coins. Stupid Vitale, he's only on TV to suck off Duke and say his phrases in a funny voice.

I'm currently watching Wisconsin vs. Xavier, and it's really sloppy. So far the buzzcuts have been taking long two's and Xavier has been... well... not good.

Don't get me wrong, I like the tournament in general so far. I could really see Syracuse going to the Final Four, Jonny Flynn is so hot right now.