Wednesday, March 18, 2009

It's a beautiful day... time for a new STORY FROM MY CHILDHOOD (part 4)

It's finally nice out in Minnesota for the first time in a while. I'm sitting out on a picnic table typing this, enjoying the spring breeze. What better circumstances to ruminate on an old memory?

It was 2nd grade in Mr. Feuerhelm's room. We were about to take a spelling test, which at the time was equivalent to the ACT in terms of preparation. Kids used to take home their spelling lists and pour over them with their parents in hopes of getting that illustrious "10 out of 10" score.

We were getting out our lined sheets of looseleaf paper (no fringes, mind you) when this goofy-ass kid named Aaron raised his hand. He was about to ask a question, but was quickly silenced in light of the upcoming test.

Mid-test, we heard a scream from the other side of the room. Aaron had fucking pissed his pants. Everyone got up and was all "LOL" about it. Mr. F frantically exclaimed, "Aaron, why didn't you just go?"

Aaron replied, "because I didn't want to interrupt the test!" I was even more LOL. Aaron ran to the bathroom to clean himself up, and all that remained was a small puddle of urine on his seat.

The poor janitor had to sanitize the area, which leads me to think: would an elementary maitenence job be the worst job ever? Kids are constantly breaking things and releasing bodily fluids. You would have no satisfaction, since no one says thank you and you are virtually guaranteed to be made fun of by the students. Odds are, even the teachers don't like you all that much since your forearms are tattooed and you chew through a tin per day.

I would bet that at least 75% of elementary school janitors are alcoholics.

1 comment:

g-spizzle said...


I tried to ask Mr. F at least two or three times, but each time, before I could ask, he interrupted me by telling my "We're about to take a spelling test Aaron!"