Sunday, March 29, 2009

Internet was down for 3 days.. what a breach!

Our wonderful technology/computer/helpdesk dept./area people yet again let me down for a long period of time, this time for three whole days. It was finally fixed about an hour ago.

In other news, here is a man driving an SUV through a mall.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

False hopes

Every time I take a test, I'll walk out of the classroom asking my peers how they think they did. I know teachers don't like it, but I am so nosey I just have to know.

After my last PR test, I asked a girl I knew how she felt about it. She said something to the tune of, "OMG I did so badly, I didn't study at all." This made me feel a little better because I was in the same boat.

Turns out she got an 81 out of 84. WTF... I got a 59/84. There's no way she didn't study... why did she lie?

I hate posers, especially posers posing to be pieces of shit.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Sunday, March 22, 2009

My bracket = fail

So my Final Four pick of Wake Forest proved to be amateur, and several other parts of my bracket are decomposing as we speak.

You know what I hate? A lot of things. One of these is Dick Vitale and the rest of the talking heads picking ALL TOP SEEDS in their predictions.

Vitale's Elite Eight prediction on ESPN had all 1 and 2 seeds except for ONE match-up going 1-3. Then his Final Four was all #1 seeds... do we even need Vitale to make these predictions? You could just follow the seeding until the Final Four when you flip a few coins. Stupid Vitale, he's only on TV to suck off Duke and say his phrases in a funny voice.

I'm currently watching Wisconsin vs. Xavier, and it's really sloppy. So far the buzzcuts have been taking long two's and Xavier has been... well... not good.

Don't get me wrong, I like the tournament in general so far. I could really see Syracuse going to the Final Four, Jonny Flynn is so hot right now.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

It's a beautiful day... time for a new STORY FROM MY CHILDHOOD (part 4)

It's finally nice out in Minnesota for the first time in a while. I'm sitting out on a picnic table typing this, enjoying the spring breeze. What better circumstances to ruminate on an old memory?

It was 2nd grade in Mr. Feuerhelm's room. We were about to take a spelling test, which at the time was equivalent to the ACT in terms of preparation. Kids used to take home their spelling lists and pour over them with their parents in hopes of getting that illustrious "10 out of 10" score.

We were getting out our lined sheets of looseleaf paper (no fringes, mind you) when this goofy-ass kid named Aaron raised his hand. He was about to ask a question, but was quickly silenced in light of the upcoming test.

Mid-test, we heard a scream from the other side of the room. Aaron had fucking pissed his pants. Everyone got up and was all "LOL" about it. Mr. F frantically exclaimed, "Aaron, why didn't you just go?"

Aaron replied, "because I didn't want to interrupt the test!" I was even more LOL. Aaron ran to the bathroom to clean himself up, and all that remained was a small puddle of urine on his seat.

The poor janitor had to sanitize the area, which leads me to think: would an elementary maitenence job be the worst job ever? Kids are constantly breaking things and releasing bodily fluids. You would have no satisfaction, since no one says thank you and you are virtually guaranteed to be made fun of by the students. Odds are, even the teachers don't like you all that much since your forearms are tattooed and you chew through a tin per day.

I would bet that at least 75% of elementary school janitors are alcoholics.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Chris Mortenson: Fortune Teller

Dig this quote from NFL analyst Chris Mortenson, circa March 2005:

“Matt Jones won’t be among the top 10 players selected in the April 23-24 draft, but I will venture to say that he’ll play in more Pro Bowls than almost any of those guys. And I will laugh, knowing I told you so.”

Nice. Jones just got cut today by the Jaguars. Solid prediction, Mort...

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Shit I woke up at 3 pm today...

Rough night last night. I figured I would fill you guys in on what I've been doing lately...

I was about to submit a blog entry "Tales From My Childhood" part four the other night, but I decided the material was too controversial. It was about all the cheating we did in junior high and high school, and I decided that I wasn't in the mood for having my diploma revoked.

I pirated Adobe Illustrator and Photoshop (CS4) the other day, and I made my first two creations with them last night. The first image is a signature for a Packer message board, and the second is the cover for my mixtape that I wanted to redo.

Pretty cool shit. I downloaded the fonts from DaFont and used some techniques I learned in Graphic Design class.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Two entertaining blogs written by OSU athletes

Who said athlete's can't blog?

Remember Maurice Clarett? The guy who tried to go pro after his freshman year at (The) Ohio State University? The guy who threw away an amazing amount of potential only to be caught with guns/drugs which led to a jail sentence?

Oh yeah, that guy.

Read his musings (from PRISON) here.

Also read Club Trillion, a blog written by super OSU benchwarmer Mark Titus. Pure comedy!

I also added the links to the right-hand box in the layout, for future reference.